Chains of Thought

Today was one of those days. When I got home I couldn't stop wanting to cry. Just how many chains from my past must I break to live in the present? When can I stop living in the future plagued by the past? I think too much. I know this, but somehow it's not something I can really stop that easily. It's not thinking that's the problem; it's the way the thoughts build themselves. Mine tend to build themselves in chains. I keep learning, and struggling, and freeing myself of a few at a time; it's getting to be exhausting. Five years is a long time. And I keep tripping over the broken pieces on the floor, like an idiot. Chained, like a beast. There's always another story. There's always another reality. There's always another perception. Just waiting to break open. Just waiting to shatter. So tired.

Present Timeline

I can't believe how many childhood memories I had forgotten about. They seem so far away that its hard to believe that I was even there in the first place. It's strange, almost like the deja vu you see sometimes of the future. You can't even believe that you would ever be in a different place than the place you are in now. It's hard to see past the boundaries of a present timeline. Yet, I still feel like I'm time-warping when I remember my past thoughts.